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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25079926">antihistamine</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/kanames_harisen/pseuds/kanames_harisen'>kanames_harisen</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Accidental Voyeurism, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Drabble Collection, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Light Angst, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Romantic Comedy, any plot found here serves as a flimsy setup for sexy times, author has no pharmaceutical experience</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-20 07:41:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,566</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25079926</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/kanames_harisen/pseuds/kanames_harisen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>If he didn’t ask for her, she’d still make sure to be the pharmacist to serve him. Call it managerial privilege.</p><p>[ drabble series featuring head pharmacist, Sakura Haruno, and her favorite customer, Mr. Hatake ]</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Haruno Sakura/Hatake Kakashi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>194</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>247</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. darling, shall we begin?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>okay, so... i should be working on the next chapter of <i>home</i>, but this plunnie wouldn't leave me alone until I got at least some written out. it's gonna be ridiculous and self-indulgent and, honestly, mostly just an excuse to write fluffy/humorous smut</p><p>(also, I might have been listening to <i>paralyzer</i> by finger eleven and <i>dance, dance</i> by fall out boy on repeat, and, well, here's the result...)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Heads up," Ino says, nudging Sakura with her elbow. "Your favorite hypochondriac is back."</p><p>Sakura looks up from her computer. Sure enough, Mr. Hatake stands at the back of the prescription drop-off line, chatting politely with an elderly woman. Today, he's poured himself into a tight pair of dark jeans, and the sight makes Sakura's temperature rise. That's not the worst of it, though. It's his black, fitted henley that draws her eye – <em>sleeves rolled up to show off his forearms, buttons undone to expose his collarbone </em>– and turns her insides to jelly.</p><p>
  <em>It should be illegal for a man to look that damn fine.</em>
</p><p>Sakura rolls her eyes and turns back to her screen like her coworkers can't see the furious blush in her cheeks. "He's not a hypochondriac. He just has severe allergies."</p><p>"I know that. I fill his prescriptions sometimes, too, you know." Ino reaches across Sakura to grab the stapler, turning her typing to gibberish, and grins at Sakura's growl of exasperation. "But <em>local-allergy-sufferer-who-wears-a-mask-in-public</em> doesn't roll off the tongue the same."</p><p>"Ino is absolutely correct," Lee chimes in as he waits for the next patient to approach his window.</p><p>"Why, thank you, Lee."</p><p>Mr. Hatake nears the front of the line, only one customer between him and Lee, and Sakura gulps. The last thing she needs is both Ino and Lee around to observe their interaction. Between Ino's inclination to embarrass Sakura on purpose, and Lee's tendency to embarrass her accidentally, Sakura rarely escapes conversations with Mr. Hatake unscathed. But she can't pawn him off on another coworker to save her ego; Mr. Hatake always requests Sakura's service specifically.</p><p>(Besides, her exchanges with him are the highlight of her workday. If he didn't ask for her, she'd still make sure to be the pharmacist to serve him. Call it managerial privilege.)</p><p>"Lee, take your ten," Sakura says as she smooths the wrinkles out of her lab coat. Stepping forward, she tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear and smiles. "I've got the window."</p><p>"Oh, I bet you do," Ino mutters as she brushes past to grab a patient's usage instruction from the printer. "Go get 'em, tiger."</p><p>Sakura glares and whispers through a clenched jaw. "Shut up, Ino."</p><p>Lee flashes her a blinding grin, all teeth and positive vibes, as he winks and gives her a double thumbs-up. Then, he's gone, leaving her to face the consequences of his actions. Which, in this case, is a chuckling Mr. Hatake.</p><p>"Lee's enthusiastic today."</p><p>"He is."</p><p><em>When isn't he? </em>is what she really wants to say. But service etiquette – pounded into her first by her professors, then by her mentor – keeps her from speaking her mind. Instead, Sakura straightens her shoulders and puts on her customer-wrangling voice.</p><p>"How can I help you today, Mr. Hatake?"</p><p>"Now, Sakura, we've been through this." He leans towards the plexiglass separating them, resting his chin in his palm. "Just Kakashi, if you please."</p><p>Sakura coughs, displacing the lovesick-teenager expression she's sure had been just plastered across her face. Damn him and his deep voice and gorgeous eyes. </p><p><em>I'm an adult and a professional</em>, Sakura reminds herself.</p><p>"Your prescription, Mr. Hatake?"</p><p>He slips a hand into his left-front pocket with an exaggerated sigh and pulls out a folded piece of paper. "Still all business, I see."</p><p>Sakura cocks her head to the side and lifts a brow, challenging. "This is a place of business."</p><p>"Touché."</p><p>When she says nothing else in return, Mr. Hatake slides the paper into her waiting hand. Their fingers touch, just the tips, and pink suffuses her complexion all over again. Sakura ignores the smugness in his gaze as she unfolds his prescription. Looking over his doctor's orders, she frowns.</p><p>"Another allergy medication?" Sakura looks up his file on the computer, and it confirms her concerns. "You've been prescribed six different ones in as many months. None of them have worked for you?"</p><p>"Not as much as I need them to." Worry draws lines into his forehead and the bridge of his nose. "Is that unusual?"</p><p>"Not necessarily. It's just–" Sakura huffs, irritated. The staff at Konoha General could use a fresh course in patient communication. "Typically by this stage in a treatment plan, other options, such as monthly allergy shots, are favored over daily medications. Hasn't Doctor Uchiha discussed this with you?"</p><p>"Oh, that." Mr. Hatake laughs out his tension, and his frame returns to its natural, lax state. "I considered that option briefly. But the doc said one of the possible side-effects was mild deformation at the shot sight."</p><p>"Yes, that's pretty common."</p><p>Sakura glues her eyes to the computer screen as she types up his order to keep from ogling him. She knows precisely where allergy shots are administered, and the image of him unbuttoning his fly flashes through her mind. Next to the keyboard, her phone lights up with a text from Ino.</p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p><em>dammit, Sakura, he's flirting with you<br/></em> <em>flirt back or so help me, I'll take matters into my own hands</em></p>
</blockquote><p>"Common or not, my ass has never done anything to me to deserve that kind of abuse."</p><p>Sakura bites her lip and keeps typing. She hears a growl from behind her in the stacks, followed by the brisk click-clack of Ino's kitten heels.</p><p>Shit, things were about to go sideways.</p><p>Again.</p><p>Unless…</p><p>"You're right," Sakura says, facing him head-on with every ounce of bravery she can summon. She watches him through half-mast eyelids and lets a smirk curl at the edge of her lips. "A good ass doesn't deserve that."</p><p>His eyes go comically wide.</p><p>Then, Mr. Hatake hooks a finger into the front of his mask, and Sakura gets to see his face for the first time. He grins, all pleased and mischievous, and there is something downright sultry about the expression. "I knew you had it in you."</p><p>He pulls the mask back in place before she has time to memorize the lines of him, and the action steals her words. She stands there, mute.</p><p>"When should I come back?"</p><p>"It'll be ready in thirty minutes, Mr. Hatake," Ino answers from behind Sakura.</p><p>He winks and walks away, leaving Sakura frozen in place. When he's no longer in view, Ino snaps her fingers, drawing Sakura's attention.</p><p>"Damn, girl, you've got it bad. Take your break and pull yourself together."</p><p>Sakura nods, grabs her phone, and heads for the bathroom.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. the long and short of it</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this drabble is the whole reason for this series, honestly<br/>i hope y'all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lee slips into their staff bathroom just as she enters the hallway. Sakura doesn't mind. The walk to the public restrooms will do her good, help clear her mind. She has two hours left before Shizune relieves her as the manager on duty, so continuing in her current haze of distraction is simply not an option.</p><p>She checks her phone on the way, unsurprised by the notifications lighting up her screen.</p><p>
  <em>Forty-eight messages.</em>
</p><p>Her roommate, Naruto, has been a ball of hyperactive, lovesick energy for the past week, chomping at the bit to introduce her to his new boyfriend. The thing is, Sakura doesn't need an introduction. It took only one selfie of them to realize that Naruto's latest love is the same guy that had once been her high school sweetheart. Talk about awkward… and complicated.</p><p>Sakura dodges shoppers and carts, letting her feet work on autopilot. Half of the texts are pictures, and she has to admit, they're cute together. It's not like Sakura has any lingering romantic feelings for Sasuke Uchiha. If Naruto's happy, she's happy for him. That doesn't mean she wants to spend an evening watching them undress each other with their eyes.</p><p>Sakura sighs as she enters the bathroom, flinging her phone onto the sink. The reflection in the mirror makes her groan – dry skin and eye bags and frazzled hair. She turns on the faucet and splashes her face with cold water. She's almost finished drying off when someone speaks to her.</p><p>"You lost, Sakura?"</p><p>Sakura turns, inch by tiny inch, and peels the paper towel from her eyes.</p><p>Mr. Hatake stands at a urinal wearing a good-humored grin. His shirt lays rucked up over his navel, showing off lean abs and smooth skin, and his jeans droop halfway down his hips, unzipped. Her gaze drifts lower without her permission, and she does her best to stifle a squeak.</p><p>He, apparently, has just finished relieving himself. His hand sits wrapped around the base of his cock, grip firm. He gives it a single shake, and the motion leaves Sakura transfixed. Even in its flaccid state, Mr. Hatake's cock is sizable.</p><p><em>Pretty, too</em>, she thinks, <em>as far as penises go, anyway. I wonder what it'd look like fully</em>–</p><p>It twitches, and it's only then that Sakura realizes she's been staring. Crimson floods her cheeks, and she gasps, flinging a hand over her eyes. With the other, she gropes around blindly for her phone.</p><p>
  <em>Shit.</em>
</p><p>Why the hell didn't she just run out when she noticed her mistake like a normal human being?</p><p>Her hand misses the edge of the countertop and goes straight to the mirror, sending Sakura off-kilter. She falls face-first into the glass, splayed uncomfortably over the sink and its fixtures. Pain blooms across her hip where it hits the blunt edge of the formica. "Ow, fuck. Shit… fuck, fuck, fuck."</p><p>She opens her eyes and rights herself, shoving her phone into the safety of her bra. Salvaging as much dignity as she can, Sakura straightens her shirt and smooths down her hair before turning to leave. Out of the corner of her eye, she searches out Mr. Hatake, sure that he's amused by the scene she's created. She starts to nod an acknowledgment –<em> it's not his fault she walked into the wrong bathroom, after all; no need for her to be rude</em> – but falters when she catches his dark gaze.</p><p>He's gone rigid, <em>every last muscle</em>.</p><p>Sakura shuffles out as fast as her feet will carry her. She doesn't stop until she's safely back in the pharmacy. Leaning against the employee-only door, she takes a moment to catch her breath.</p><p>
  <em>Oh. My. God.</em>
</p><p>Then she attempts to finish the remainder of her shift without thinking about Mr. Hatake's proud, nine-inch cock.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. but does his heart beat just for you?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>flashback time...</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>("I'm sorry," he says, stopping her at the entrance. "I can't love you the way you want me to."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She stands there in her black heels and pretty dress, staring at him. Her glossy red lips work open and closed, but no sound escapes. She doesn't understand, and it must show on her face because he speaks again.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I'm gay, Sakura."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"But we– I mean, last night…" She closes her eyes, and she can still feel the heat of his touch imprinted on her bare skin. "You're sure?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I wasn't." He shifts his feet, staring at the ground. "But, I am now."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He stays silent for a moment as she lets that truth sink in.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Your timing sucks." She exhales a laugh, wry and wet with the first of her tears. "But I'm glad you told me."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"If you still want to," he gestures to doors, "we can–"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"No," she whispers, shaking her head.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He leaves her then. She slumps onto a nearby bench, crushes her corsage, and cries until Ino finds her.)</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. i burn, i pine, i perish</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>now for a little Kakashi POV...</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>.oOo.</strong>
</p><p>The first time Sakura sees Kakashi is when he fills his fluticasone prescription at the pharmacy.</p><p>Kakashi's first time seeing Sakura happens a week prior.</p><p>
  <strong>.oOo.</strong>
</p><p>Kakashi, Minato, and Obito sit at the bar, sipping their beers and picking at the vegetable garnish left on their (empty) tray of hot wings. A chorus of sweet exclamations rises above the rest of the ambient restaurant noise from the large table in the corner. Minato laughs and smacks Obito's back before wrapping an arm around the younger man.</p><p>Minato raises his bottle. "Here's to the next generation!"</p><p>Obito raises his bottle as well, his face soft as he watches Rin across the room. Rin rubs her rounded belly, smiling as Kushina gushes over a pair of infant shoes. Anko shoves another present towards the mother-to-be, and the rest of the ladies chant, "Open it, open it, open it."</p><p>Kakashi shakes his head and chuckles, amused by the scene.</p><p>Of course, Kushina would consider Hooters the perfect venue for a baby shower.</p><p>"Now, if we could only get Kakashi to settle down." Minato elbows him, making Kakashi choke on his beer. "You know, there's this girl in the physical therapy department that–"</p><p>Kakashi groans. "I need some air."</p><p>Obito follows him as he makes his way outside. There's a bench tucked away in the corner, nearly out of sight, which is probably more for staff use than customers. Kakashi slumps onto it, the stucco-covered building rough at his back. Across the small, adjoined parking lot, the patio party at the microbrewery is lively, bordering on rowdy. Kakashi gives the scene his half-hearted attention as Obito stands next to him in silence.</p><p>After a couple minutes, Obito shifts. "Listen, man–"</p><p>"Hell, no!" a woman yells as she marches out of the patio. "Fucking pervert."</p><p>A man, large and looming, trails a pace behind her. From Kakashi's perspective, the man has a foot height advantage and at least fifty pounds on the woman's petite frame. Two more strides and he catches her, a hand like a vise gripped on her shoulder.</p><p>"You bitch! I paid out for dinner. You owe me."</p><p>Kakashi stands, and Obito tenses at his side. But before they can take so much as a step towards the situation, the man hits the pavement.</p><p>With her sharp, black heel to his groin, the woman snarls. "I don't owe you shit. Accept your loss gracefully and leave, or I'll crush your balls and call the cops. Your choice."</p><p>The man raises his hands in surrender, and she reaches in her purse without taking her eyes off him. She points something at him – probably pepper spray, maybe a taser – and cautiously lets him up. With sure feet, she maneuvers out of reach and waits. He turns his back on her, strides to his car, and races out of the parking lot, squealing his overpowered muscle car's tires.</p><p>The woman rolls her shoulders and smooths back her long, pink hair. Then she pulls out her phone. "So, hey, I need a ride," is the last thing Kakashi hears before she walks back into the microbrewery lobby.</p><p>Kakashi falls back onto the bench and runs a hand through his hair. That wisp of a woman had executed the best damn hip toss he'd ever seen, in five-inch stilettos and a mini-skirt.</p><p>It was the single most attractive thing he'd ever witnessed in his thirty-six years alive.</p><p>"<em>Fuck</em>."</p><p>Obito claps Kakashi on the back and smirks, smug. "And that spitfire would be Sakura Haruno."</p><p>"How do you–?"</p><p>"She dated my younger cousin when they were in high school." Obito shrugs. "She used to come to birthday parties."</p><p>Kakashi frowns. "I thought he was gay."</p><p>"He is." Obito shoves his hands in his pockets, pensive. "Must've been before he came out."</p><p>Kakashi hums in response, and Obito turns to go inside. Before he reaches the door, Obito calls over his shoulder, "She's a pharmacist at the old Konoha Drugstore."</p><p>Kakashi finds his feet and catches up to his friend. After a moment of deliberation, he asks, "Hey, doc, could you write me a new prescription?"</p><p>Obito's eyes go wide, then he laughs. "Sure."</p><p>They're almost back to their seats when Kakashi grabs Obito by the arm, pulling him to a complete stop. Low, so his voice won't carry, Kakashi commands, "Do not tell Minato. The last thing I need is–"</p><p>Obito laughs again. "Fine. But it's gonna cost you. Be prepared to babysit, Uncle Kakashi."</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. adventitious excitation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I don't know why, but the writing is flowing today. I'm not going to question it. So here you go, the second update in less than 24 hours.</p><p>Enjoy *wink, wink*</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kakashi's still hard when he gets home.</p><p>His cock aches inside the tight confines of his jeans. The zipper turns the soft fabric of his underwear into sandpaper. He ambles into his apartment complex, hands in pockets and shoulders hunched to hide the erection peeking over the top of his waistband. The need to hurry consumes him, but his body can't take it. Every brush of his shirt over his sensitive tip leaves him more aroused, teeth clenched to keep from hissing. An increased pace means increased stimulation, and he'd rather not accidentally cum in front of his neighbors. He already has a reputation as a pervert.</p><p>(It's not like it's his fault the UPS guy delivered his imported, special-edition of Yuki Yoshihara's <em>Itadakimasu</em> to the wrong address. Besides, the manga is classic.</p><p>And, okay, fine. It's an<em> erotic josei manga, </em>but it's a classic all the same.</p><p>Not to mention, who the hell lets their seven-year-old open the mail? If the little snot understood boundaries – or how to read, because the package clearly said <em>Mr. Kakashi Hatake</em> – no one would feel the need to remind Kakashi to <em>think about the children</em>. The problem obviously lies with Mrs. Hyuuga's parenting skills, not his taste in reading material.)</p><p>Kakashi struggles to open his front door. His fingers, thick and numb, move without coordination but manage to work the lock open. He slams the door shut in his haste.</p><p>His pack of rescue dogs bark and run circles around his feet, happy to see him. Bisuke hops on the sofa and runs along its top edge, eager for attention. Kakashi gives him a swift, distracted pat as he strides towards the bedroom. "Give me a few minutes, guys."</p><p>Once inside his sanctuary, Kakashi leans against the door and breathes. In through his nose, out through his mouth, and repeat. It takes a few seconds, but his mind calms. It does nothing for the state of his cock.</p><p>Kakashi pulls at the hem of his shirt, intent on removing it. Heat floods his system like a fever, and he knows the cold apartment air will feel like bliss. He slides it up his torso but stops when it sits just above his navel. His fingers curl tight into the material as he remembers.</p><p>Sakura saw him in a similar state of undress less than ten minutes ago. Her bright green eyes had taken him in, had raked over every exposed inch of him with unconcealed interest. Then his cock had acted of its own accord, sending her into a clumsy spiral of mortification.</p><p>(He hadn't meant for <em>that</em> to happen. The teasing, sure. It's their modus operandi, after all. But mostly, he'd hoped to save Sakura the embarrassment of someone else walking in on her.)</p><p>He changes tack. The zipper slides down with ease, and he swivels his hips to work the denim down his hips. With a firm hand, Kakashi shoves his underwear under his balls. Relief leaves him on a stuttered exhale. Finally, he's free.</p><p>Kakashi thinks about the pink that colored her cheeks as his fingers fist around his cock. Her soft gasp of surprise fills his ears as he thrusts into his iron grip. His hips buck faster – <em>faster, faster, faster</em> – when he remembers her splayed across the sink, her skirt rucked up.</p><p>(It'd only taken a glimpse of her perfect, lace-clad ass, and he'd been hard as granite.)</p><p>It's her eyes, though, that send him over the edge. Proud and defiant, despite the awkwardness of the situation. Filled with an innate strength that could crush him with a glance. They tell the story of a woman who's battled against the world to gain self-respect and won. In his mind, she turns her gaze on him, and his orgasm hits him with the force of a heavyweight punch.</p><p>"Oh, <em>fuck</em>…"</p><p>Kakashi's hips spasm. His back arches off the wood behind him until the only point of contact is the crown of his head. Still, his fist snaps up and down. He doesn't stop until he is spent and soft. The tension leaves his body all at once, like a cut string.</p><p>He scrubs his clean hand over his face, taking in the mess he made, and only has one regret.</p><p>"Damn. I should've grabbed a sock."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. the divine art of glomping</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sakura and Naruto shenanigans, part one!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Naruto, I’m home!”</p><p>Sakura tosses her purse onto the side table inside the door and peels her feet out of her shoes. She receives no reply, but she hears some kind of activity further inside. The savory scent of dinner in progress wafts through the apartment. Her stomach growls, reminding Sakura that she worked through her lunch hour.</p><p>
  <em> What a long-ass, shitty day. </em>
</p><p>As she makes her way to the kitchen, Sakura reaches underneath the back of her shirt, unbuckling her bra. With a few contortionist-style movements, she pulls the torturous undergarment through one of her sleeves and flings it towards the couch.</p><p>
  <em> Good riddance. </em>
</p><p>The sounds intensify as she passes the kitchen, so she peeks her head inside. “Hey, Naruto–”</p><p>“Sakura, you’re home!” Naruto scoops her into a hug that more closely resembles a tackle, picking her up and twirling her. He beams, his blue eyes glittering with unfettered enthusiasm. “Did you know that you can make almost anything with ramen, not just ramen? I found this website today with all kinds of ideas, and I–”</p><p>“So, let me guess. We’re having ramen for dinner, then.” She sticks her tongue out in disgust. “<em>Again</em>.” </p><p>Sakura fidgets in his hold. When he doesn’t take the hint, she smacks his shoulder, and he puts her down. Even faced with her grumpiness, his excitement doesn’t abate, though.</p><p>“Okay, technically, yes. And I know how you feel about it.” Naruto’s bright expression goes stubborn as he rallies against her apathy. “But this isn’t <em> normal </em> ramen, Sakura. It’s butter and herb tossed ramen with lemon-glazed chicken. And there’s vegetables and everything.”</p><p>Sakura smiles, swayed by his excitement. “Well, I suppose, if there are vegetables.”</p><p>“You’re gonna love it.” Naruto grins so big and cheesy it forces a chuckle out of her. “Believe it.”</p><p>
  <b>.oOo.</b>
</p><p>“Oh, god, Naruto… <em> fuck</em>.”</p><p>Sakura lays face-down on the sofa, legs splayed over Naruto’s lap as he works a knot out of her left calf. His strong fingers dig deep down to the heart of her problem, and she groans.</p><p>“You sure you’re okay? I can–”</p><p>“Don’t you dare stop, dammit. I’ve been – <em> shit </em> – trying to get that stubborn fucker for a week.”  She grunts when he finds the center of the tender spot, causing her toes to curl. “It hurts like hell, but – <em> holy fuck-balls, that’s the spot </em>– it’s a good kind of hurt.”</p><p>Naruto chuckles as he increases the pressure of his massage. “You curse like a sailor when you’re in pain, you know that?”</p><p>Sakura glances at him over her shoulder, eyes narrowed. Then, she grabs a throw pillow and tosses it at his head. “Asshole.”</p><p>He dodges it and laughs again.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. oh gravity, why can't we</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sakura and Naruto shenanigans, part two!</p><p>Title of this drabbles comes from <i>Oh Gravity!</i> by Switchfoot</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They sit side by side on the sofa, a half-empty box of tissues the only thing between them. Wads of the paper, damp and crumpled, lay scattered on their laps, the couch cushions, and the floor. A massive bowl of buttered popcorn goes ignored on the coffee table. Naruto grabs the remote with a hiccup and turns the television off.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Naruto.” Sakura sniffles. “I thought it was supposed to be your typical, fluffy rom-com. I had no idea she died at the end. God, what a bummer.”</p><p>“It’s okay. We can just–” Naruto's phone chimes, and his face brightens as he checks the notification. “Oooh, it’s Sasuke! Hey, Sakura, take a look! Isn’t he just so–?”</p><p>Before he can shove the phone in her face, she stands. “I’ve got to pee.”</p><p>“Don’t fall in,” Naruto calls after her, his usual, joking self. But something in his tone sounds forced, and his smile dims as she scurries away.</p><p>In the bathroom, Sakura does everything but urinate. </p><p>She washes the saline from her face. Then, she decides she may as well do her nighttime face care routine – a complicated, twelve-step Korean beauty regimen that she rarely follows. After she’s burned ten minutes on that, she trims her cuticles and files her nails. Since she’s nearly halfway to a full manicure anyway, she exfoliates her hands and slathers them in body butter. She briefly considers painting her nails as well, but she’s too rough on polish to justify the effort. Instead, she picks up the tweezers with the intent to attack her brows. The tool slips out of her slick, moisturized fingers, ricocheting to the far corner under the vanity. Sakura grips the porcelain countertop and takes a deep breath.</p><p>
  <em> Coward. </em>
</p><p>Guilt pricks at her heart, and she can’t do it anymore. Sakura flings the door open and marches back into the living room. Naruto still sits exactly where she left him, even though at least a half-hour has passed.</p><p>“Am I missing something here?”</p><p>Sakura sits next to him and gestures at his phone. Quietly, she says, “Show me the picture, Naruto.”</p><p>He unlocks the phone and hands it to her, confusion written all over his face. On the screen, in bright, living color, Sasuke smirks as he shows off a ball python wrapped around his arm. The caption reads, “Meet Aoba.” Nostalgia blooms in her chest, bittersweet, and Sakura sighs as she gives Naruto’s phone back.</p><p>“Remember the guy I told you about? My high school boyfriend?”</p><p>Naruto frowns. “The one your mom caught you dry-humping half-naked the night before he dumped you cuz he was actually gay?”</p><p>Sakura punches him in the shoulder, knocking him off balance and onto the floor. </p><p>“God, Naruto. Do you have to be so crude?” He rubs the sore spot and pouts, but takes the hand she offers him. “And yes, that’s the guy.”</p><p>“So, what does that have to do–?” The contemplative wrinkles in his forehead smooth out as his eyes go wide. “Wait… that was Sasuke?”</p><p>Sakura nods, not knowing what else to say. She stares at her hands in her lap, silence heavy all around them. Naruto vibrates next to her – fingers flexing, toes tapping, joints cracking. But she can’t tell from his body language whether he’s angry at her, Sasuke, or the situation. Regret fills her throat with bile, nausea taking up residence in her stomach. Her hands start to shake, and all she can think is <em>I should have told him sooner.</em></p><p>Naruto covers her hands with his own, his touch gentle and tentative. “Do you want me to break up with him?”</p><p>Sakura looks up so quickly it feels like whiplash. “No! Of course not!”</p><p>“Do you want me to kick his ass?”</p><p>“No! God, just–” </p><p>Naruto’s blue eyes burn with sincerity and righteous anger, and guilt lances through her afresh. Sakura breathes in through her nose, holds it for a five-count, and releases it. Then, she lays her heart bare. </p><p>“It was a shock, okay? I haven’t seen him for five years, and suddenly, you have a picture of him on your phone. It was so surreal, you know? I didn’t know what to say.” Sakura shrugs, picking at non-existent hangnails. “I was already running late for work, so I thought we’d just talk about it later. Then, our schedules were off, and I didn’t see you for, like, days. Plus, you were so happy and excited. I just… I didn’t know how to tell you without it becoming a big deal. Which shot me in the foot. Obviously. Because now we're here, and it’s weird and awkward and a whole thing.”</p><p>“Well, damn.” Naruto droops, head down and eyes obscured by his shaggy fringe. “I’ve been sending you all those pics and crap without knowing... Fuck, I’m sorry, Sakura. You must’ve felt so–”</p><p>“Shit, Naruto, don’t apologize.” Sakura headbutts him, just hard enough to make him look at her. When he rubs his forehead, eyes wide in shock, a chuckle rolls out of her. “I’ve been over Sasuke for a long time, okay? Honestly, the only thing that goes through my head when you send me stuff is that you guys are too fucking cute together.”</p><p>“Then, why–?”</p><p>“Because,” she says with a sigh, “he’s from a part of my past that makes me feel insecure, so I wasn’t sure I wanted to see him again. I promise, Naruto. It’s that simple. You don’t have to worry about sparing my feelings.”</p><p>Naruto studies her face as he asks, “You sure?”</p><p>“Yes.” Sakura nods with conviction, and the tension seeps out of both their bodies. Then, she grins. “I’m a grown-ass woman. I’ll face my gay ex-boyfriend with grace and poise and–”</p><p>Naruto bursts out in laughter, interrupting her monologue. “The only thing graceful about you are your fists.”</p><p>Sakura lunges at him, but he’s already leaped away from the couch.</p><p>“I’ll show you graceful!”</p><p>Naruto chuckles some more as she chases him around the apartment. Eventually, Sakura catches his arm and spins, using his inertia to whip him back into her. She miscalculates how much force to use, though, and she can’t keep Naruto’s larger mass upright. They fall to the ground in a breathless, giggling heap.</p><p>Sakura takes his hand. “Let’s go out Friday.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>More Kakashi coming in the next drabble!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. miscalculations</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>now, back to our regularly scheduled kakasaku fun</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Mr. Hatake's next visit to the pharmacy takes Sakura by surprise.</p><p>It’s a slow day at the front window, most of their orders coming in via phone. Ino’s got the incoming refills from the automated system covered, and Lee’s working through the ones called in by doctors. That leaves Sakura multitasking customer service and the pharmacy’s backlog of paperwork, much to her coworkers' relief. </p><p>It sounded like a lot when she divvied up the work at the start of the shift. But with few in-person customers to interrupt her progress, Sakura finishes the paperwork in record time. Ino and Lee both refuse her help with their tasks.</p><p>
  <em> (“Thank you for the offer, Manager Sakura,” Lee says, sincere and stubborn and passionate. “But if I cannot at least do this much on my own, I am not fit to be called a pharmacist.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I got this. Go take a nap or something,” Ino says with a dismissive shooing motion. “You look like shit.”) </em>
</p><p>Sleeping on the job isn’t something Sakura can condone, no matter how little she has to do, so she takes out her phone and opens her Kindle app. Her reading list is a mile long, and she’s behind pace on her yearly goal. If she can get a chapter or two in before the end of her shift, she’ll feel more accomplished than if she plays Candy Crush. Even if she’s still technically slacking.</p><p>Sakura’s fully engrossed – <em>her head full of frost demons and shrewd women and silver and gold</em> – when a knock at her window sends her tumbling back to reality. With a guilty blush, she sets her phone aside and turns to greet her customer. The gentle pink transforms into a full-blown blaze of red when she sees it’s Mr. Hatake.</p><p>She opens her mouth, but no words form – at first.</p><p>“It’s only been a week,” is what Sakura ends up blurting out the next second.</p><p>She instantly wishes that people could actually die of mortification. The Konoha Drugstore pharmacy services nearly three-hundred customers; she should not know any individual customer’s prescription-filling habits off the top of her head. The startled look in Mr. Hatake's eyes affirms her folly. Damn, she thought she’d have more time to recover from their last run-in before facing him. But there’s no getting out of this awkward transaction, so she straightens her shoulders and clears her throat.</p><p>“I apologize for that outburst,” she says, plastering on a smile. “How can I help you, Mr. Hatake?”</p><p>“Really, Sakura? I thought we’d finally moved past all that <em> Mr. Hatake </em> nonsense.” His hand covers his heart, a playful gesture of faux affliction. “Did my Astelin prescription mean nothing to you?”</p><p>Mr. Hatake's delivery remains as smooth as ever, a healthy dash of flirtation in his deep voice. But when Sakura drops her gaze and tucks her hair behind her ear, unconsciously telegraphing her attraction, a blush dusts the tops of his cheeks. Sakura’s heart goes to mush at the adorable sight even while her face holds its line. </p><p>“That depends on whether there is an issue with the prescription.” Sakura pulls up his file on the computer to give herself something to do other than stare. “Are you experiencing any side-effects?”</p><p>He nods gravely. “I had an allergic reaction, so I rushed to the hospital. Dr. Uchiha said I could have died.”</p><p>“I see.” Sakura crosses her arms and snorts softly in disbelief. “And I suppose Dr. Uchiha was good enough to give you a new prescription, then?”</p><p>“Yep. Only the best service for his favorite patient.” </p><p>Mr. Hatake rummages in his pockets, first the left, then the right. He pats down his chest, seemingly flustered, even though there’s no pocket on his tight black tee. After a brief, panicked pause, his hands go to his ass, and he pulls a folded paper out of his back pocket. Slumping in relief, he slides the prescription to her.</p><p>Sakura opens it and splutters, every inch of her skin turning the color of her hair. </p><p>“This?” Sakura smacks the paper against the plexiglass window, holding it up for him to see. “This is your prescription?”</p><p>Mr. Hatake's head snaps up and scrutinizes the paper. Then, he answers with a wary, “Yes?”</p><p>“Consultation room. <em> Now</em>.” </p><p>Sakura points to the door to the right of the pick-up window and stomps away without looking back. She nearly knocks over Ino as she turns a corner. The other woman opens her mouth, but before she can say anything, Sakura beats her to the punch. “You’ve got the window.”</p><p>When Sakura reaches the employee access door to the consultation room, she takes another look at the paper crumpled in her fist. It leaves her every bit as confused, embarrassed, and angry as when she first read it. </p><p>She doesn’t know what he’s up to.</p><p>But she’s about to find out.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>sorry for the cliffhanger! kakashi's POV coming up (probably) later this week!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. private consultation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i'm so sorry for the cliffhanger last chapter! i hope this makes up for it!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kakashi barely has time to text a quick <em>"what the fuck did you do?"</em>  before Sakura charges into the small room. She strides towards him, wearing her ire like a raiment. Her green eyes blaze, iron and steel and danger, and she brandishes his prescription like a sword.</p><p>He gulps.</p><p>"What is this?" she asks, waving it in the scant foot of space she leaves between them.</p><p>Kakashi takes a half-step back before he answers, distracted by her close proximity. "My new allergy prescription?"</p><p>Sakura crosses her arms. "Try again."</p><p>"I really don't know what–"</p><p>"This," she shoves the paper into his chest, "is not an allergy prescription!"</p><p>Sakura's touch singes like a brand, and Kakashi almost drops the paper. It's only his fighting-honed reflexes that keep it from falling to the floor. He studies the damn thing, ignoring the rapid <em>thump-thump</em> raging inside his chest. Her gaze bears down on him. Kakashi tugs at the collar of his shirt, suddenly much too hot for such a confined space.</p><p>He doubles down on his mission and focuses. But trying to figure out what sparked Sakura's fury proves futile; he can't read Obito's chicken-scratch. It looks like every other prescription he's been given up to this point.</p><p>Sakura taps her toes, impatient.</p><p>Kakashi looks up, at a loss, and she snatches the paper from his grasp. Her lips remain a hard, flat line, but her eyes take on a quizzical quality. Thirty seconds pass as he holds his breath, the room silent except for the steady click of the clock and Sakura's soft exhales.</p><p>"Okay, fine." Sakura pinches the bridge of her nose. Then, her posture shifts into something less aggressive, and the sharp edge bleeds out of her voice. "I'm going to ask you a few questions, and I'd appreciate it if you answered them honestly."</p><p>Kakashi doesn't know whether to feel relieved or disappointed that she no longer seems of the disposition to kick his ass.</p><p>He shoves his hands in his pockets. "Fair enough."</p><p>"Do you even have allergies?"</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"Are the prescriptions real?" she asks. But before Kakashi can answer, she holds her hand up, stopping him. "What I mean is, do you actually use them?"</p><p>Kakashi looks away, rubbing his neck. "Uh… no."</p><p>Sakura's spine snaps to attention, shoulders squared and hands curled into white-knuckled fists. Head thrown back and chin jutted out, she growls, "Are you making fun of me?"</p><p>A shiver races down his spine, equal parts exhilaration and guilt. Sakura's so fucking beautiful, all wry wit and self-suppressed savagery. The promise of violence in her voice, in her defensive stance, floods his system with heat. Kakashi has seen her in action, knows she could pummel him where he stands. His cock jumps at the thought, and he shifts to hide the growing bulge.</p><p>
  <em>(Maybe his neighbors were right after all. He's a fucking masochist.)</em>
</p><p>"Answer the question, Mr. Hatake." She steps forward, bristling. "Are you making fun of me?"</p><p>"No." Kakashi shakes his head, both as an answer and to clear his mind. Sakura deserves so much more than his clumsy attempts at wooing and perverted thoughts. "No, of course not. I–"</p><p>"Then why in god's name are you trying to fill a prescription for Cialis?"</p><p>"Cialis?"</p><p>"Cialis. You know–" Sakura cuts off as she takes in his confused expression, then turns bright pink. "It treats erectile dysfunction." Her gaze drifts down, eyes wide when she spies the state of his crotch. "Which we both know you don't have."</p><p>Obito was a dead man.</p><p>"I just…" Sakura pushes a wayward wisp of hair out of her face and sighs. She gestures vaguely in his direction. "I don't get it. Months worth of useless prescriptions. Money wasted. All for what, exactly? I mean, what do you get out of–?"</p><p>"I like you."</p><p>He doesn't mean to blurt it out like that.</p><p>He doesn't mean to say it at all.</p><p>But, damn, if he'll take it back now.</p><p>Sakura freezes, still as a statue. A heartbeat later, her hands drop to her sides, and her lungs release a slow, stuttering breath. "Take off your mask."</p><p>Kakashi holds her gaze as he complies.</p><p>"Now," she commands, "say it again."</p><p>He's exposed, vulnerable. It's not a position Kakashi finds himself in often. Or willingly. The mask protects him from more than just the elements; it's his armor against life's harsh realities. With it, laying his heart bare stings, like the temporary pain of a papercut. Without it, it feels like a head-on collision.</p><p>He hits the gas.</p><p>"I like you."</p><p>Sakura searches his face as he speaks, her own a neutral facade he can't read. Then, she nods, and her taut lines of tension melt away. With a small, shy smile, she holds out her hand. "Well, Mr. Hatake, what do you think about having dinner together Friday night?"</p><p>Maybe he won't kill Obito after all.</p><p>Kakashi takes her hand and tugs her closer. Not so much as to be inappropriate, but enough to make her gasp in surprise. He grins and bends down so they're eye to eye. "Give me your number, and we'll make it happen."</p><p>Sakura flushes pink again and pulls a pen from her lab coat pocket. Flipping his hand over, she writes her number into his palm. He flexes his fingers, and his grin spreads into a full-blown smile.</p><p>Then, she's pushing him towards the door.</p><p>"Get the hell out of here. I've got work to do." Sakura frowns at the faint sound of whispering and shuffling feet outside the employee entrance. She raises her voice. "And subordinates to discipline."</p><p>Kakashi laughs and plants a peck on her cheek before he ducks outside, away from her fists.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. no fury like</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>After Kakashi leaves, Sakura slumps into a chair, emotionally exhausted. She takes a moment to compose herself, then pulls out her cell. It takes a few tries to find the right number in her contact list, and she huffs in annoyance.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Too many damn doctors,</span>
  </em>
  <span> she thinks. </span>
  <em>
    <span>And way too many Uchihas.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The phone rings twice before someone picks up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for calling Doctor Uchiha’s office. This is Shisui speaking, how may I help you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello, Shisui,” she says with cloying politeness. “This is Sakura Haruno over at the</span>
  <span>–”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, yes. Obito said to expect your call.” Shisui is utterly professional, despite his interruption, but Sakura thinks she senses a hint of amusement in his tone. It does little to mollify her, even as he continues with, “I’ll connect you to his direct line immediately.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>An uninspired, instrumental version of one of last decade’s hit pop songs fills her ears. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As she waits for Doctor Uchiha to answer, Sakura prepares to unleash hell.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i'll leave what sakura actually says to obito up to everyone's imagination. if anyone wants to speculate in the comments, that'd be awesome!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. rooster in the henhouse</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sakura, Ino, and a bit of tipsy girl talk!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It takes five hours and thirty-seven minutes of persistent nagging, passive-aggressive manipulation, and full-on threats.</p><p>Ino finally gets Sakura to spill the entire story over a bottle of wine. Flushed from lingering embarrassment and the alcohol in her veins, Sakura squeaks and stutters out the tale’s finer details. Ino grins the whole time but holds her tongue.</p><p>"So," Sakura squirms behind the pillow tucked in her arms, “what do you think?”</p><p>“Hmmm?” Ino hums, suddenly engrossed with something on her phone.</p><p>Sakura glares and digs her toes into Ino’s hip. “Don’t ignore me, dammit.”</p><p>“Gross.” Ino pushes away Sakura’s offending appendage. “Keep your smelly hobbit feet away from me.” </p><p>Then, she sidles over, encroaching on Sakura’s personal space. </p><p>“For your information, I was doing a little research. You know, for the sake of science.” Ino wraps an arm around Sakura’s shoulders, holding her locked phone in front of them. “You said he had – and I quote – <em> the prettiest nine-inch penis</em>. But how can you be sure it’s the prettiest? More importantly, how will I know? If I’m going to continue to be the cock expert in this relationship, I need to further my education on the subject.”</p><p>“Of course, that’s what you got out of my confession.” Sakura shakes her head and releases a long-suffering sigh. “Here I am, needing an honest second opinion about whether or not I just invited a serial killer out on a date. But you’re stuck on the fact that I saw a dick you haven’t.”</p><p>“Listen,” Ino says, grabbing Sakura by the chin. “Mr. Hatake is a straight-up hottie who is awkward enough to use a fake-prescription ruse just to <em>talk </em>to you. He's sweet enough to not run away when the jig is up and brave enough to confess to you when you look like murder incarnate. Plus, he’s got a nine-inch joystick waiting for your playing pleasure. If you’re not gonna snatch up that dick, pass it over to someone who’ll put it to good use.”</p><p>Sakura jerks her head out of Ino’s grasp and rolls her eyes. “Like you, you mean.”</p><p>“I don’t know. I need to do more research.” Ino’s mischievous grin returns as she unlocks her phone. “Now, which one of these pretty penises looks the most like Mr. Hatake’s?”</p><p>“S-Seriously, Ino?” Sakura slaps a hand over her eyes as she tries to escape. “What the fuck?”</p><p>Ino laughs and releases her. “Exactly.”</p><p>
  <b>.oOo.</b>
</p><p>For the rest of the week, Ino peppers their text thread with random dick pics and gifs of cumshots. She even manages to replace Sakura's lock screen with a particularly well-endowed specimen when Sakura leaves her phone unattended. Sakura briefly considers blocking Ino – or kicking her ass – but one of the gifs is close enough to the image she has seared in her brain that it helps her fill her fancy. </p><p>Several times, in fact.</p><p>
  <em> (It’s still not as pretty as his, though.) </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. dojo</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>kakashi, obito, and cobra kai!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kakashi circles, bouncing lightly on the balls of his feet. Obito leans forward and smirks, taunting with his body language. Kakashi just misses clipping him on the chin with a right uppercut.</p><p>“Whoa, man,” Obito says, eyes wide. “I thought we were sparring. You almost took my head off.”</p><p>“Oops, my bad.” Kakashi plasters on a mien of innocence. He shifts directions, closing some of the distance between himself and his prey. “You dropped your guard. Rookie mistake.”</p><p>Obito lands a kick to Kakashi’s thigh. “And I suppose you’re gonna teach me the error of my ways, <em> sensei </em>?” </p><p>The title drips from his lips like poison – sickly sweet and ready to cause internal damage. Obito plays mind games better than any fighter Kakashi has ever faced, and he knows Kakashi’s weaknesses inside and out. </p><p>It’s not the word itself, of course. More than a couple dozen students currently address him as such. But the way Obito says it carries emotional weight, and the man knows it. For a brief moment, Kakashi’s old guilt resurfaces. The sight of Obito’s discolored, blind eye rearranges Kakashi’s lithe muscles into taut, ineffective lines.</p><p><em> My fault</em>, Kakashi’s thoughts scream. <em> I did that, and now I'm living his dream. I'm a sick, son of a </em>–</p><p>Obito’s next strike sweeps Kakashi’s legs and lands him flat on his back. The fall jostles the sense back into Kakashi, and his butterfly guard goes up. Obito’s attempt to pass it goes unsuccessful; a sharp thrust of Kakashi’s heels sends his opponent staggering backward. Kakashi leaps to his feet in one fluid motion and reverses Obito’s sweep before he can regain his equilibrium. </p><p>Obito goes to the mat.</p><p>Kakashi takes his back, hands locked and arms flexing around Obito’s neck. Kakashi spies Obito’s grin a split-second before the man turns in the hold. But there’s a reason Kakashi’s considered a master in the field. Kakashi’s grip slackens as his hands shift position, just as he knows Obito anticipates. Instead of blocking Obito’s incoming punch, though, Kakashi shoves his palm into the man’s cheek.</p><p>Obito hisses in pain as his strike lands wide, missing the mat and colliding with the concrete floor.</p><p>Kakashi executes an armbar with perfect, clinical technique. "Say it."</p><p>“You know.” Obito’s grin takes on a slight grimace as he attempts to counter the move. “You really should show your elders more respect.”</p><p>Kakashi straightens out, putting more pressure on Obito’s arm. “Say it.”</p><p>Obito pants, eyes shut. “Dammit, Kakashi. You’re gonna rip my arm off.”</p><p>“You’re a doctor. You’ll figure something out.” Kakashi’s muscles strain as they hold fast, waiting for Obito’s complete submission. “Now, say it. Like you mean it, please.”</p><p>“You and that damn movie. I just don’t understand the appeal of–” Kakashi wrenches Obito’s arm as far as he can without causing permanent damage. Obito taps Kakashi’s shin. “Okay, okay, I give!”</p><p>“Say it.”</p><p>Obito grumbles, “Yes, sensei.”</p><p>“Weak.” Kakashi lets up on the pressure for a second, only to reapply it. “Again. And louder this time. I want to feel your conviction.”</p><p>“Yes, sensei!”</p><p>Kakashi’s limbs feel like jelly as he flops to the mat. Despite his fatigue, he’s in better spirits than he has been in a long while. The sight of Obito rubbing his sore arm only increases Kakashi’s happiness.</p><p>
  <em> His sneaky, conniving ass deserved the punishment after the stunt he pulled with Sakura. </em>
</p><p>“You’re both fucking monsters, you know that?”</p><p>Kakashi glances over at his friend, confused. “Who?”</p><p>“Who else?” Obito sits up and grins. “Just so you know, Sakura’s verbal jabs are as powerful as her fists. She had some colorful suggestions for what I could do with my prescription pad.”</p><p>Kakashi laughs, pleased and proud. “I hope she ripped you a new asshole.”</p><p>“Only Rin knows, and she’ll never tell.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. author's note</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>I struggled with what to say here, so I decided to simply copy and paste the announcement I made on tumblr</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>hello ks family! </p><p>i’ve decided to step back from fandom (my explanation can be found <a href="https://kanamesharisenwrites.tumblr.com/post/633714286760493056/dear-friends-and-followers-i-am-heading-into-a">here</a>). but before i do so, i have a few loose ends to tie up, namely my wips.</p><p>i do not have the time, energy, or inspiration to complete them, so i’d like to pose a question (or two) to my readers and the community - would anyone like to adopt them? </p><p>I’ve got two: <b><a href="https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F21089873%2Fchapters%2F50177612&amp;t=NmEyNzg1MDUzMDM2YmVkMmRlYzlhOTA1OWYxNGI4YWNhNDFkNjI3OCx5VzROTzZKdw%3D%3D&amp;b=t%3AWBKmr3MhRneoUD5YdAJlnQ&amp;p=https%3A%2F%2Fkanamesharisenwrites.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F633714864006758400%2Fhello-ks-family-ive-decided-to-step-back-from&amp;m=1&amp;ts=1604441373">home </a></b>and <b><a href="https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F25079926%2Fchapters%2F60751639&amp;t=ZWM3Y2UxMDhiN2U5YTg0YTA3M2UxNWVmY2Q4YWUxNzg5NWUwZGM0Yix5VzROTzZKdw%3D%3D&amp;b=t%3AWBKmr3MhRneoUD5YdAJlnQ&amp;p=https%3A%2F%2Fkanamesharisenwrites.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F633714864006758400%2Fhello-ks-family-ive-decided-to-step-back-from&amp;m=1&amp;ts=1604441373">antihistamine</a></b></p><p>Alternatively, if no one wanted to adopt them, would adding a final chapter that gave an outline of the main remaining plot points (including the ending) be something that readers would want?</p><p>please let me know your thoughts. i plan to make a decision either way by the end of this week</p><p>thank you! </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. author's note, part two</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>copied and pasted from my tumblr</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p></p><div class="">
  <p>I woke up today to the loveliest set of emails I think I’ve ever had the privilege of receiving</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Strangely enough, they were notifications from tumblr? I’ve been pretty absent since the major life changes I explained in <a href="https://kanamesharisenwrites.tumblr.com/post/633714286760493056/dear-friends-and-followers-i-am-heading-into-a">this post</a>, and therefore had little reason to anticipate them. But the thing is, they became the deciding factor in a battle I’ve been having with myself over the past few weeks</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>You see... now that I’ve started my classes now that my work schedule has stabilized now that I’ve realized I’m not too old to slay the dragon that is college algebra now that I’ve know I’m better at time management than I thought</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>I think... <em>maybe?</em>... I can do all this and finish <strong><em>THE FIC</em></strong></p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>(if you’ve followed me at all for the past year and a half, you know exactly what the fic is. obviously, it’s the angsty, smutty, kakasaku post-shippuuden AU that i used as a vehicle to bear my soul to the world)</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>So, <strong><em>yes</em></strong>, I’m going to continuing working on my current kakasaku fics, even though updates will be painfully slow</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>But, <strong><em>no</em></strong>, I will not be making a full-scale return to fandom. I don’t have it in me at this time to start any new stories, or join any fests/community activities. I’m not even sure I’ll have time to respond to reviews in anything resembling a timely manner - though, as always, I welcome the feedback!</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>With all that being said, I am proud to announce that <strong><a href="https://href.li/?https://archiveofourown.org/works/21089873/chapters/50177612"><em>home </em></a></strong>is no longer adopted and is officially off hiatus! <a href="https://href.li/?https://archiveofourown.org/works/25079926/chapters/60751639"><em><strong>antihistamine </strong></em></a>may also get updates, as inspiration strikes</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>If this announcement brings you joy, know that you have <span class=""><a class="hVK3L" href="https://ksficrec.tumblr.com/"><span class="">@ksficrec</span></a></span> to thank. Their series of posts about my self-indulgent mess of a fic - <em>two of which I was tagged in </em>- tipped the scales in favor of my kind-of-return to writing</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>And last, but certainly not least, thank you so much @faerietell for being willing to step in when I thought I couldn’t finish. While I’m so happy to be able to finish this story myself, I know you would’ve done an amazing job!</p>
</div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. journal</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>so... inspiration struck</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>11:07 pm, Tuesday: <em> finally put my big girl panties on. made plans with Naruto (and Sasuke) for Friday </em></p><p>2:43 pm, Wednesday: <em> berated a customer, then proceeded to ask out said customer on a date – despite slight misgivings that he could be some kind of sexy serial killer, mostly because my track record with men is abysmal at best and he </em> <b> <em>literally </em> </b> <em> exudes big dick energy and when have I ever been that lucky, ugh... Also on Friday. </em></p><p>5:12 pm, Thursday: <em> well, fucking shit </em></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. double booking</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She’s just pulled her hair out of its work-appropriate ponytail when Sakura’s phone chimes. The author of the text isn’t a contact, and she nearly marks it as spam before she catches her mistake.</p><p>It’s from <em>him</em>.</p><p> </p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p><strong>kakashi:<br/></strong> <em> yo<br/></em> <em> it’s your favorite customer<br/></em> <em> still on for Friday? </em></p>
</blockquote><p>Sakura grins and flops stomach-first onto the pile of pillows on her bed.</p><p> </p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p><strong>sakura:<br/></strong> <em> oh... mrs. satsumi, i didn’t realize you had my number<br/></em> <em> we had plans for friday?</em></p>
</blockquote><p> </p><p> </p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p><strong>kakashi:<br/></strong> <em> okay, fine. your second favorite customer</em></p>
</blockquote><p> </p><p> </p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>sakura:</strong>
    <br/>
    <em> mr. ichiraku?</em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p> </p><p> </p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p><strong>kakashi:</strong><br/><em> funny<br/></em> <em> try again</em></p>
</blockquote><p> </p><p> </p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p><strong>sakura:</strong><br/><em> hmmm… i’m drawing a blank<br/></em> <em> maybe you could give me a hint</em></p>
</blockquote><p> </p><p> </p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>kakashi:</strong>
    <br/>
    <em> sakura</em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p> </p><p> </p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>sakura:</strong>
    <br/>
    <em> that’s not much of a hint</em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p> </p><p> </p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>kakashi:</strong>
    <br/>
    <em> my doctor is an incompetent, inappropriate, meddling uchiha</em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p> </p><p> </p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>sakura:</strong>
    <br/>
    <em> mr. hatake!</em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p> </p><p> </p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p><strong>kakashi:</strong><br/><em> seriously<br/></em> <em> what’s it gonna take to get you to call me kakashi</em></p>
</blockquote><p> </p><p>Sakura laughs through a furious blush, rolling onto her back. Her daydreams lately feature scenarios that have his given name spilling from her lips. But fuck if she’s gonna tell him that. It’s more fun to tease him.</p><p>She’s contemplating how to frame her response when Naruto barges through her open door.</p><p>“Honey, I’m home.” He leans over Sakura, trying to catch a glimpse of her screen. “Ooooh, who ya texting?”</p><p>Sakura smashes her phone to her chest. “No one. Who says I’m texting?”</p><p>“Don’t lie to me, Sakura. You’re grinning and blushing and acting shady as fuck.” Naruto clucks his tongue at her while wagging a finger. “Who is he?”</p><p>Naruto lunges for her phone, and Sakura dodges his swipe with ease. She deflects his second attempt with a sharp kick, sending him off-balance. Before he can rally for a third try, the device is safely nestled within her bra. Sakura sticks out her tongue.</p><p>“Real mature.”</p><p>“You’re the one breaking the most basic rule of cell phone etiquette.”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah. Like you don’t do it to me all the time.” Naruto waves off her accusation as he leaves the room. “You can keep your secret… for now.” He pauses in the hallway, peeking his head back inside. “We’re still on for tomorrow, right? Sasuke made dinner reservations at the sushi place you’ve been dying to try.”</p><p>“Tomorrow?” Sakura’s heart stops a moment, then races into overdrive. “As in, Friday? <em> This </em>Friday?”</p><p>“Of course, this Friday. We’ve been planning it all week. <em> Sakura</em>,” Naruto says with a frown, “don’t tell me you’re backing out. Please. Not after everything.” He shuffles his feet, a paragon of all things pathetic, and his voice lowers to a hush. “I’ve been really looking forward to it.”</p><p>“Dammit, Naruto, don’t look at me like that. I’m not backing out.” Sakura grabs a pillow and tucks it against her body as if it could shield her from the embarrassment of her coming confession. “I just… I have a date on Friday, okay? A first date. With a hot guy that I picked for myself, unlike the last couple dozen blind dates I’ve been on. And,” Sakura mumbles into the fluff, “I think I might <em>like </em>like him. You know?”</p><p>“Is that all?” Naruto beams, all sunshine and irrepressible joy as he sits beside her. “Just bring him along. The more, the merrier.”</p><p>“You sure?”</p><p>He scoots closer, so they’re shoulder to shoulder, and pinches her cheeks. “Yep. I can’t wait to meet the guy that’s got you all twitterpated.”</p><p>Sakura slaps his hands away. “<em>Naruto</em>.”</p><p>“So,” he says, his expression gone serious, “Exactly how much do you like this guy?”</p><p>“Why?” she asks, eyes narrowed in suspicion.</p><p>“Well, if it was me, I don’t think I’d want my first date with a guy I really liked to be a double date with my ex-boyfriend.” Naruto stands and stretches, hands high above his head. “Maybe I’d try for a little romantic conversation over chocolate croissants at the cute coffee shop around the corner before it closes for the night.” He gives her shoulder a quick squeeze as he walks away. “But that’s just me.”</p><p>It only takes Sakura five seconds to send her next text.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p><strong>sakura:<br/></strong> <em> can i call you? </em></p>
</blockquote>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. wingman</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Help!”</p><p>Sakura wails into the phone precariously tucked between her shoulder and cheek. She flings a dress onto her bed, then dives back into the cramped space of her kind-of walk-in closet.</p><p>“I’ll explain the details later, but I’ve got less than thirty minutes to get ready to meet Mr. Hatake.”</p><p>“Wait, wait, wait,” Ino says before releasing a heavy sigh. “Do you mean to tell me that Mr. Hatake only gave you a half-hour notice for your date, and you’re actually letting him get away with that bullshit? Because, girl, let me tell you–”</p><p>“Ino, focus! I<em>– </em><em>shit</em>.” Her cell slips from its perch as she reaches behind a stack of books in search of her one pair of heels. It skitters across the tile but somehow manages not to crack. Sakura scoops it up and puts it on speaker. “Look, it’s a long story, but <em>I’m </em>the one who insisted we meet now. And he graciously accepted, despite the last-minute notice. So, like I said– <em>help</em>!”</p><p>“Switch to video.”</p><p>Sakura complies, and Ino surveys Sakura’s appearance with a thoughtful eye.</p><p>“There’s no salvaging your hair, not in the time we have. You’re gonna have to pull it back up.” Ino hums, a finger to her lips. “But if you tousle it with that sea-salt spray you bought last week and pull it up a little higher than you had it at work, I think it’ll give it enough oomph.”</p><p>“Okay, yeah.” Sakura nods, ignoring the nervous churning of her stomach. “I think I can manage that.”</p><p>“Do that smokey eye thing I taught you. Really, that’s all your makeup needs, except for some lipstick.” Ino brings her phone closer to her face, so she’s all that Sakura can see on-screen. “And for fuck’s sake, use the stay-put one I bought you for your birthday. Your lips might actually see some action this time.”</p><p>Sakura’s pulse flares at the thought, flooding her cheeks with heat. “It’s only a first date, Pig.”</p><p>Ino rolls her eyes. “Like you guys haven’t been eye-fucking for months already.”</p><p><em> Reminder</em>, Alexa announces throughout the apartment,  <em> Fifteen minutes until Sakura’s hot date with Kakashi. Reminder, fifteen minutes until– </em></p><p>“Alexa, shut the fuck up!” Sakura shouts over Ino’s giggles, panic rising in her chest. “This isn’t funny, dammit. I don’t even know what I’m wearing.”</p><p>“Fine,” Ino says through her lingering laughter. “Show me what you’ve got.”</p><p>Sakura switches the camera on her phone, giving Ino full view of her clothes-strewn bed. “Well?”</p><p>Ino’s mirth settles into a coy smile. “So, exactly how far do you want to get with Mr. Hatake tonight?”</p>
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